Friday, December 16, 2005

oh my darlin' clemintine

i'm completely addicted to oranges. it's one of my best kept secrets. in college, i would hide 10 lb bags of oranges in the drawer of my desk, leaving my books with no home. i would have to refill the orange drawer probably twice per week, three times if it was finals week. i don't quite know how i managed to keep my roommates from finding out. the year between graduation and getting married was citrustacular. there was no need to hide, no one to question the sheer volume of peel in the garbage can. i was one happy, vitamin-C filled chick.

then i got hitched, and retreated back to shamefully concealing my love for the fruit. the first two years are so full of discovering lots of little things about each other that i didn't want to just offer such a large secret off the bat. and since you share most every nook and cranny with your permanant roommate, i couldn't even hide the oranges. i've spent the last 17 months looking at them longingly in the supermarkets, knowing that if i granted myself one, i'd sure lose all control and the cops would find me three days later, my esophagus (nope, no spell checking here) completely disolved from the acid of a thousand oranges.

but today, i'd had enough. we were picking up some groceries to make dinner for friends who've just had the most adorable baby. and there, just a foot away from the celery, was a box of "cuties," little clemintine oranges, looking as cute as they claimed. my breathe quickened a bit as i saw that they were on sale. i took a deep breath, and prepared myself to casually grab a box of the cuties. the husband said "what do we need those for?" to which i replied "oh, i mean, it's the holidays, so, i just, i think i might be getting a cold or something, aren't you supposed to have vitamin C or something? i mean, we don't have to get them, i just thought it might be nice...." at this point he'd already moved on to examining tomatoes and mumbled something like "whateverrrr"
glory of glories! oranges! i could think of nothing else the for the remainder of the shopping trip, and the ride home. we walked in the door, and as non-chalantly as i could, i cut open the netting surrounding the little bundles of fabulousness. the husband trotted upstairs to watch ESPN and i sat down on the couch with my orange. my peeling skills came back to me quickly...that trick where i get the whole peel off in one piece...that took me four months to perfect....and here i am, doing it as well as i had back then.

they're sweeter than i remembered. and the juice explosion is a little more excitingly startling. and now....i'm trying to find a way to reconfigure the peels to resemble uneaten oranges, how to discourage the husband from wanting to eat one, and when i can get back to the store to buy a replacement box so he'll never know what just happened.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Rockstar? yes, if by "rockstar" you mean "liquid noose"

so there i was, it was thursday morning, this thursday morning to be exact. alright, it was just now. details details.

i had this wee pill to swallow. under oath i'd swear it was no more than a fourth of an inch long by an eighth of an inch wide. the pharmaceutical company that produces this capsule of neon pee producing goodness is even kind enough to put a magical coating on the outside to guarantee its swift decent from my mouth, down my tube, and into my circle area. you've all seen the commercials... you know the complex inner workings of the human body of which i speak.

now, i've taken this pill before, lots of times. water is my go to, but i will settle for coffee in a pinch. no no, silly, not literally a pinch of coffee... that's in no way enough liquid to take a pill with... i mean, i'll settle for coffee if no water is at the ready. i've never had an attempt on my life during this pill swallowing procedure. until today. today i chose rockstar. ladies and gentlemen, i implore you. learn from me. i nearly died. the combonation of rockstar and wee pill created an obstacle in my tube that nearly prevented the pill from reaching my circle area. not only that, it breifly prevented air from traveling the same path.

then, joy of joys, someone walked into my office, heard my desperate attempt to save my own life. it was misinterpreted as what is known as "coughing from the flu." recommendation? go home and rest.

luckily for my place of employment, i am a woman of integrity like no other, and i will choose to work despite the attempt on my life.

bonus prize: i have a new office now, one that is all my own. one of the window squares in said office has the following invitation etched: "LET GET HIGH."

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

the trance of the Tree

does this happen to anyone else? you walk into the Dollar Tree to quickly grab some bubble gum and ziploc bags..........

and forty minutes later walk out with $46.50 worth of STUFF? what is it about that's almost like the "beer goggle" theory...when i walk in to the store, things look basically trashy and cheap...but 15 minutes later, i'm shocked to have discovered that i can get tissue-paper-thin socks for ONE DOLLAR! what a steal!

how do they do it? do they release something into the air? are there subliminal messages in the music? have they like TOTALLY mastered the shelf placement thing?

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also, i decided to google "dollar tree" and found this super fun site...a guy documents stuff he found in the dollar tree. there's really amusing stuff on there. i wish i was one of those blogfessionals who could make a word be what you click on to get to the page they're talking about. but i'm not. so here's the link, the old fashioned way. bio/dollartree.html

on a side note...nothing makes me happier right now than the nokia commercial with the guy singing "just a good ol' boy...never meanin' no harm..." with his eyes all rolled up to the ceiling. oh man, that guy's a HOOT!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


it's official folks. i hit the big time.

last night, as i was approaching target to do some retail therapy, my best friend and i were approached by an overly-makeuped lady with a microphone, followed by a guy holding a massive camera with a blinding light. i knew immediately what was going on. i said, "please let them ask me about something i know a lot about, so i can sound really smart..."

i always thought i'd get my 15 minutes for some fantastic achievement, a book i'd written, some charity work and whathaveyou. instead...i got my big break because i love to shop. i knew that my 4 weekly visits to target would pay off sometime.
about 100 iPods were stolen. fox 12 news was doing a story on how to check if you're buying stolen goods online. so they asked me, what do YOU do to make sure you're not buying stolen things?
and my reply?
"i've NEVER thought of that...." like a complete and TOTAL idiot.
here I am, college degree, a professional, well-respected in my field (insomuch as is possible at this point), highly intelligent and very gifted young adult. and i basically said
"oh my gosh! like, people would totally like, sell STOLEN stuff? like who would EVER do that?! uh."
my best friend brandon, by the way, was poised, collected and sounded rather smart. this kid's failing every class in college, mind you (and not cause he's stupid, but for lack of trying).
so after all the interviewing is over, we proceed to target, all giggly that we might be stars of the silver screen tonight.
and of course, today i wore grumpy clothes and i-don't-care-hair. so i figure, hey, just cause they interviewed us, doesn't mean we'll make the final cut. we saw them interviewing several other people too.
10 o'clock news time. the stolen iPod story is one of the main stories being previewed. the time comes and who's face should blow up on the screen....yours truly, who else?
and they play FORTY FIVE seconds of me saying "well, on Ebay you can read seller feedback...i think that might help avoid buying stolen stuff." and so on...then they play maybe 4 words from brandon, something like, "i prefere going to the store." and that's that.
and you know how the "camera adds 10?" well it does...and ALLLL of it in my CHEEKS. what a horrid angle.
but we hooped and hoorayed nonetheless. and recorded it. cheesy, i know.
then brandon says, "we should go out know people would TOTALLY buy us drinks and that we're local celebrities."
here's the link to the story, with the video clip. i didn't know it was going to be online too...sure enough, there's my name...

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This has got to stop

i don't know if it's the full moon, or if i'm working out some bad karma, or if someone out there has a voodoo dol with my name on it...but this is all getting RIDICULOUS.

Let's recap: In the last month, my little brother disappeared (i never told you guys about that one...not really a light hearted approach available for that kind of situation), i fall and basically made love to some cement, thus giving me perma-limp and some seriously impressive battle scars (a battle i lost, mind you), i've been subjected to some disturbing displays of affection on mass transportation, accidentally farted in front of my boss (didn't tell you about that either...for OBVIOUS reasons) and now THIS.

today, in summary:

kids go crazy, or rather some of the parents i work with go crazy, thus creating tremendous amounts of work for yours truly. but i can handle that. i'm used to it.

a day i thought would end around 7pm (making it the 8th DAY IN A ROW that i've worked 11 hours or more, with no overtime, naturally) actually ended around 9:30pm. So i'm pretty exhausted, right? understandable, i'd say.

as i'm backing out of my parking slot at work (which is very VERY scary when it's dark, i might add) i neglect to notice a dark, short metal handrail just behind me and BAM i slam into it. the handrail is case you wanted to know. My back light is not doing so well. like, completely shattered.

okay, no big deal...i'll go home, find some boy who knows about these kinds of things, and let him fix it.

keep in mind please that my place of employment is LESS than FIVE MILES from my place of residence.

1 mile before i'm home sweet home (and in the middle of a phone call with an escalated parent) i see some pretty flashing lights.

oh, that actually means something? huh....

so i hang up on the parent, and pull over (bumping the curb as i do so, naturally)

and a very attractive policeman approaches my truck. fair enough. he says, "you've got a busted out light back there you know." "i know. i JUST did that a few minutes ago as i was leaving work." "mmhmm he says." obviously thinking i'm giving him a classic get-out-of-the-ticket line. "can i see your license, registration and insurance?" "of course." i say. i hand him my license, the registration and....and...oh no.

i switched purses this a smaller purse where my wallet won't fit. and only grabbed my debit card and license...cause what else would i really need?

"um, i just switched purses this insurance card is in the other one. but i'm only half a mile from here...i can have someone bring it to me in less than five minutes. " "mmhmm." another lie i'm sure he thinks. "don't bother having anyone bring it." "okay." i say, feeling more and more like puking.

"are you still in Clackamas?" "no, i just bought a house out here." "how long ago" "um, about 3 months i think." "you're supposed to change your drivers license within 30 days, you know." strike three. "i honestly had no idea officer. i realize this sounds completely negligent." "i'll be back in a minute."

It was not pretty.

so i arrive home a bit later, ready for a nice big glass of red wine to deal with the events of the day. i approach my door, pull out the keys....hmm, this key isn't working...maybe i just chose the wrong one...well, this key isn't working either.

well that's because i left my house key at work.


so what i need to know is...WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?

i need answers. have you got any ideas?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

May I have your attention please...

Once and for all...


thank you for your time.

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Monday, October 31, 2005

Saturday Night: a reinactment

so it goes like this: I went to see my best friend's play at the ol' Cade. during intermission, i thought it would be SUPER sweet of me to go get him some flowers. so i put up the hood on my sweatshirt and set out on my covert op. i snuck into the "commons" area of campus where there were precisely 5 flowers still living. i promptly snapped one of the flowers from it's bush and headed back, quite pleased. here's what happened next, as I was walking back to the Reahearsal Hall (good ol' Vera Johnson) i noticed that the play was starting up again, so i started to, um, rush i guess. What happened next is best conveyed through poorly drawn pictures:

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From what i hear i caught some air before i FWAPPED down. They thought i had hit my head, thankfully my elbow/ribs/left knee "broke" my fall. I can't remember much of the whole thing...i remember that i couldn't breathe, i remember saying "I don't want to miss the rest of Brandon's play!" and something like "I don't think i should move from this spot until early next week." the rest is a little fuzzy.

that last pic is me, laid up on the couch with my leg elevated and all wrapped up, being iced aaaaalll day. doctor says that the bones are bruised, my ribs are pretty messed up. the color of my knee is very interesting actually...a nice shade of charcoaled blue. and i think it's tripled in size. yuck.

now i get to limp all over the place, and tell the embarrassing story to eight zillion people. has anyone else noticed that trauma seems to have it out for me this year?? oy. the upside? My other best friend (the one who's a girl) took me to Walmart for the necessary retail therapy, and i got to drive one of those electric wheelchair/cart things. I tried not to look like i was enjoying it, in case anyone should think me a faker, but deep down inside, i giggled.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Please take out your scantron and #2 Pencil

Pop Quiz: please answer one or more of the following

When was the last time you had a really detailed dream, and the next day mixed up the details of your dream with reality?

What's the most embarassing thing you ACCIDENTALLY said? (for example, the other day i was telling someone about a place called "The Triple Nickel" and called it "The Triple Nipple." yikes.)

Have you ever come out of the bathroom with
A.) toilet paper trail
B.) skirt tucked in to chones
C.) water splashed on crotch
D.) other (please specify)___________________________

Have you ever done that thing where you see someone you know and you run up to them and hug them from behind....only to discover it's NOT the person you know....? (yeah, cause i have)

You have ten minutes to complete your tests. I'll be grading on a curve.

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Monday, October 10, 2005

My Glamorous Job

Just when you thought my job was all glitz and are the top 4 things from today's actual To Do List:

1. Call Roto-Rooter to discuss the technicalities of one child's turds being so large as to completely clog the toilet all by themselves. (seriously, like twice a week)

2. Call large-turded kid's foster parent to discuss need to "fish out and break up" said turds to prevent such clogging

3. Call large-turded kid's doctor to schedule enema.

4. Go to Fred Meyer to purchase scale for another child with potty problems so that their diapers can be weighed.

That's right folks. I had to find a scale to weigh some kids poopy diapers.

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glamorous my assorous

Sunday, October 02, 2005

My newest obsession

wow you guys. I can't hardly calm down enough to tell you this.

I have found some PHENOMENAL music.

They're called "Sigur Ros" and they're from Iceland. It is some of the most beautiful and original music i've heard. i'm not even sure how i found them. they've got four albums out to date, and i read that they're getting ready to release a fifth. One album which has no name, but it titled " ( ) " is written entirely in "hopelandic," a language created by the group that has no translation. it's mesmirizing. seriously. Promise me you'll at least TRY it....they're not for everyone, but they just might be for YOU! leave me a comment and let me know what you think (also, if you already know and love them, then i totally respect you, and want to know what else you listen to...)

I've come to a conclusion.



sigur ros=icelandic


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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

This made me very happy

So, here's something no one would ever say about Breanna. "She's just one of those girls that is sooo sweet. she'd never wish anything bad on anyone. she just sees the good in every person. i don't think she' s got a mean thought in her head."

cause the fact is, i do have some mean thoughts in my head. which is why these pictures made me VERY VERY happy.

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(no wonder Hugh prefers me!)

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I'm pretty sure all you bloggers think it's altogether awesome (especially the chicks). Even if you won't say so out loud.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

5 Reasons Hugh Grant Probably Digs Me

Reason Hugh Grant Probably Digs Me #1:
I've heard nothing to the contrary

This much is true—I have yet to hear a single thing about Hugh Grant not being completely into me. Since I've been given no reason to presume that Hugh Grant doesn't want me, I am left with no other conclusion but that, in fact, he most likely wants me pretty bad.

I remain flattered but uninterested. No doubt he's practicing writing "Breanna Grant" over and over again in his diary, with big swirly loops and hearts. And someday we'll have a drink, and I'll show him my diary with "Breanna hearts Hugh" written over and over again with big swirly loops and hearts, and oh, the laughs we'll have. Oh, the drinks we'll also have. Oh, how drunk he'll get. But mostly the laughter.

Until then, consider me forbidden fruit, Mr. Grant. All the swirly loops in the world won't change that, even ten million swirly loops. Do well to remember that.

Reason Hugh Grant Probably Digs Me #2:
Guys dig sweet, mysterious chicks

And let me tell you, I've got sweetness and mystery coming out my ears. Mysterious? How many chicks keep a spare wig in their glovebox? If you said "no chicks" you'd be wrong by precisely one chick:me.

Originally I did it because I wanted to turn my boring regular life into something that resembled that chick in Alias. Wigs always did the trick for her. So i decided to start some secret ops, you know, to make the wig worth it. but it turns out that bank tellers won't so much give you money when you look nothing like your ID. and they don't like it when you tell them that only the hair has been changed to protect the innocent. They start to ask questions, and not nicely. Accusingly. And eventually they get really accusing and mean, and you cry a bit, and you tell them you were only wearing a wig for the purposes of administering justice. And they won't listen.

Even though I had to scrap 90% of my original wig plans, I still managed to get a barrette with some blond hair attached to it.. Well, little blond braids. Even so, these barrettes still rocket me up to 10% Alias; by my calculations that works out to 100% blond-braided mysteriousness. Ask the weather man and he'll tell you: 100% mystery equals warm fronts with a 100% chance of Hugh Grant wanting me.

I will be completely frank with you: I can't actually conceive that Hugh Grant wouldn't be pretty turned on by all that. Plus, if he ever breaks a shoe lace I can always unsnap one of my braids and come to his rescue.

Reason Hugh Grant Probably Digs Me #3:
I'm pretty sure I heard him say he digs me

At least I think I heard him say he dug something—I connected the dots myself on that one. It was at a party a Hollywood producer was throwing in celebration of some movie or another. I think it starred Richard Gere, but then, so do a lot of movies, and you don't see any parties for them. Anyway, it starred some guy.

I don't know what Hugh Grant was doing there, exactly, except for "looking dashing" and "digging me, most likely," two things I’m completely positive of. I'd been breaking into the producer's house at the time on one of my Alias excursions, but all the noise from the living room kept distracting me from emptying out the contents of the den into a sack, so I decided to mingle a little.

The second Hugh laid eyes on me, he turned to some chick and whispered something. I'm a bit of a lip reader, and I'm almost certain he either said "I dig that chick" or "Eye-gag, thought shreek," which kind of looks the same lip-wise, even if it doesn't make a bit of sense. So either Hugh Grant totally digs me, or he's a blathering idiot. This syncs up with most of my theories on men to date, actually.

Sadly I was unable to chat the dashing, accented Mr. Grant up and get to the bottom of things, as through no fault of my own I was a little drunk and got into a hair pulling fight with some lady that was spending a little too much time oggling Hugh's tush. I most likely would have been arrested, except I managed to break away by gagging her with one of the blond braids.

Reason Hugh Probably Digs Me #4:
Science agrees with me.

I crunched a couple of numbers on this, and it turns out science backs my Hugh-digging hypothesis 100%. Check it out:

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Note the above scientific facts point only to the possibility of Hugh Grant proposing marriage to me, not any indication of my hypothetical response.
The naysayers among you might be able to refute the rest of my arguments, but you can't beat stone-cold science. That's why it's called science. Refuting scientific logic is like slapping Isaac Newton's face — it's simply not logical to do it. Who'd slap Isaac Newton's face? That's ridiculous. Anyway, that's you.

Reason Hugh Grant Probably Digs Me #5: Check out this handstand


[flawless handstand]

Your Honor... I rest my case.

Monday, September 05, 2005

the "if i had a life" post

If i had a life (which apparently i do not) i would post something along these lines today:

"Today was totally awesome! i hit the beach with 20 of my closest friends for a day of fun in the sun! this is the view from inside the boat as we went tubing!
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and here are some of the gang just chillin' in the water, taking in the rays
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after a fantastic day in the waves we decided to take a twilight cruise. Here's a shot from the cruise ship
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I couldn't believe how wonderful it was. we laughed and drank and had a grand ol' time. it was the best day of my life!!! I'm so glad I'm not one of those people who doesn't have plans on labor day and just spends the day grocery shopping and bleaching that space in between each tile on the kitchen counter! those people are losers!"

I'm going to bed. just as soon as i get the bleach smell out of my fingers.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Ten Things You Probably Don't Know About Breanna

in no particular order:

1. when no one is around (and i'll never admit this elsewhere) I listen to Britney Spears. and i dance. i dance like there's no tomorrow. oops...i did it again.

2. i have watched the infomercial for that blue light teeth whitening gadget at least 10 times

3. my comfort food of choice is hot chocolate

4. when i was in 7th grade i used to steal my grandma's packs of cigarettes and sell them to kids at school so i could buy cd's. (stop judging me)

5. I'm trilingual. my primary language is sign language, followed by English then French. booyah.

6. i'm addicted to q-tips. i do it daily. sometimes twice.

7. i refuse to eat leftovers

8. i don't care if my shoes match my bag or not...but the underwear HAVE to match the shirt.

9. i HATE HATE HATE the song "amazing grace." no reasons, i just hate it

10. i bought "from justin to kelly" as soon as it came out on DVD. and i love it.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Grab some coffee and stay awhile

Hi, my name is Breanna, and I'm a reality-television-aholic.

It all started as a simple way to pass the time. I'd catch one, maybe two shows a week. Then, as it became more socially acceptable, i found myself catching bits here and there, checking out new versions of it when my friend's said they'd tried it. i couldn't get enough of it.

then i got really hooked on a couple different versions of it. it was all downhill from there.

now, I have it written into my day planner. I hide it from friends (like, who of you knows that in addition to all the obvoius shows i watch, i also tune in to Laguna Beach, Rock Star INXS, Rock School, High School Reunion and I Want to Be a Hilton). I joined chat groups for my favorite shows. I sent emails, signed petitions and paid stupid amounts of money to vote by text message.

and the worst part.

i don't regret it. i don't have any desire to be cured.

i just thought it was time to get it out in the open.

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Sunday, August 21, 2005

Tagged: First and Last

this tagging business is fun. and it's good timing too, cause i don't have time to create ideas for posts on my own just now, and i refuse to be one of those people that just rehash every detail of what's going on in my life right now ("and then, we went to my sister's husband's aunt's house and she was all like, cleaning, and so then we went to...."). So thanks to Charlotte for giving me something to post today!

First memory...
I think i was maybe three (is that really late for a "first memory?") and my cousin was staying at our house. i guess my eyes were half open as i slept, cause she screamed for my mom that she thought i was dead.

First kiss...
I was in 7th grade, and his name was Jeff. He was really cute, but had a weird B.O issue. we had gone to Chuck E. Cheese with a group of friends and were in the back of his dad's truck on our way back to my house. "So in Love" was on the radio, and his brother was sitting in between us. when his brother leaned forward to grab something from the front seat, Jeff leaned over and kissed me. it was magical. well, ghetto magical.
First concert attended...
Randy Travis at the Kern County Fair.
First love...
his name was Ben Dee. it was 6th grade. i loved him as much as i knew of love. he played Prince Charming and I played Cinderella in the school play. we met playing tetherball. he was wonderful. moved to Arizona at the end of the year...broke my little naive heart. i still have a picture of him though, just after the opening night of the play, still wearing the crown.
First thing you think in the morning...
the old classic..."just five more minutes!" See previous posting on my addiction to the snooz button.
First book you remember loving...
My mom says that i used to make her read "baby goes around the block" like about ten times a day. the first book i remember loving myself is "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret."
First pet...
yet another classic: a white cat that i named "snowball." who HASN'T had a cat named snowball?!?!
First question you'll ask in Heaven (If that's allowed)...
if i died right now, in this exact place in my life, i think i might ask "why me?" not in the way that you might think, but "why did you choose me? why did you do all that just for me? why do you love me?" kind of way.
First place you think of when you hear the word vacation...
Coast in California. i tried real hard to get myself to think something exotic first, but i kept going back to this one spot on the beach not too far from where i grew up. plus, i'd get to have In and Out, and that is a vacation all by itself!
First best friend...
Her name was Anna. I don't remember anything about her anymore, except for the time we went to Disneyland together, and had breakfast with the chipmunks from "chip and dale rescue rangers." that was fun. we wore fanny packs.
Last time you dressed up...
i've been singing in a lot of weddings lately. so i get to be dressy for those. that's fun. i've got a wedding coming up in about a week that i get to be REAL dressy for, and i'm excited about that. plus, all these weddings give me a good reason to go shopping for new pretty clothes!
Last thing you ate...
I just got back from having dinner with our neighbors Rici and Jason. Rici made this awesome italian meal that featured a baked chicken spaghetti, and ended with a DELICIOUS tiramisu. Thanks Rici!
Last CD bought...
Bethany Dillon, who is a BRILLIANT singer/songwriter (and only 16) just released her second album "imagination" this past Tuesday. I've been looking forward to it for several months now, and it didn't let me down! it's awesome.
Last time you cried...
this week was ridiculous. i cried about 8 times, for no apparent reason. like making a simple and harmless mistake at work, and i just started crying and ACTUALLY said the following, "I just HATE making mistakes. why can't i just do everything perfectly." feel free to hate me for being that girl
Last time you told someone you loved them...
ten minutes ago i told my mom that i love her. because i do.
Last really fun thing you did...
there are some people in my life who would claim that anytime i do something very funny, it's because i'm trying real hard to be serious. hmph. i don't guess i'm a really funny chic...but i laugh a lot, and i make other people feel like they're real funny.
Last thing you watched on T.V...
I'm currently watching "The Surreal Life." and i'm not ashamed.
Last Halloween costume...
I was a fairy, complete with wings, a cute tutu and glitter. i like dainty things.
Last Concert attended...
oh man...well last weekend i saw Natalie Grant at the Women of Faith conference. she's way better in person than on the cd/radio. she made a fan out of me. which is a big step up from how i felt about her before. that chick has pipes for daaaaays.
Last time you had a really moving spiritual experience...
also last weekend. Tammy Trent (who did NOT make a fan out of me, musically speaking) was telling the story of losing her husband, and then sang a song she had written shortly after as a worship song. The song was so real, so raw. One line said, "Even though my heart still cries, I'll always ask the question 'why?' " and i really just started crying because i realised that faith and questions can co-exist, and that I don't have to wait for answers to be grateful for the questions.

fun fun fun. Thanks again Charlotte.

Hair pics are on their way....i know you're all holding your breath, just WAITING to see how it turned out...yeah right. you probably already forgot i CUT OFF ALL MY HAIR. but i'm going to post a pic nonetheless.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

My Top Ten Songs du jour

Many thanks to Tabitha for tagging me! i always love sharing my current music picks!

In no particular order, and accompanied by my favorite line from each song:

Imagination by Bethany Dillon: Isn’t that just like a finite mind Setting out with such righteous indignation But now I’m at Your feet Could You look at me with some imagination

Nice Naive and Beautiful by Plumb: If you've been there you'll know, if you're still there hang on. we're all dealt our lumps of coal, what you do with it can turn beautiful

You Turn Me Around by Aqualung: But watch as fingertips touch and the life floods in And they swim to the sun And the long night surrounds me You turn me around

Somewhere Only We Know by Keane: Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.So tell me when you're gonna let me in,I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson: The telephone singing, ringing, it's too early Don't pick it up We don't need to We got everything we need right here And everything we need is enough It's just so easy When the whole world fits inside of your arms Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm Wake up slow, wake up slow

Everytime You Go Away by Brian McKnight: You're the sunshine of my dayYou brighten up my night You take a piece of me with you Every time you say goodbye

Waging War by Shane and Shane: To see the Lord, the promised land Wherein all sin's pearly gates look bland And what was once a pearl,now sand that blows away in light of Him

I Remember by Damien Rice: I remember it well The first time that I saw your head around the door 'cause mine stopped working. I remember it well. There was wet in your hairI was stood in the stairs and time stopped moving

One and Lonely by Superchic[k]:It's not like they meant to hurt me, watchin TV, checkin Britney televised, my guy's Checkin out her thighs, and I roll my eyes and sigh. It's not like I even need to be competing with unreality TV, fantasy, not for a smart girl like me

Breanna by Jonathan Hoffman: Breanna, sunny smile from California We love you, that's something we know that you know We love you in rain, when you come back again But we love you the most when it snows. Your good heart and smile, your humor and styleWill take you so far. But your science and art, your reading is part of what makes you a star. And if you just eat good healthy food -- like potato and coconut stew You'll grow bigger and stronger and smarter and longer And we'll all be so proud of you.

(hey, if there was a song named after you with details that were accurate you'd include it too. just watch, now you'll all go looking for one so you can list it when you get tagged!)

and now, to tag it forward....

Amanda, Gabe, Ha-May (james) and Emily Kay Peters....

You've been called out! let's see your Top Ten!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Your Vote Counts

One of the biggest days of my life is fast approaching.

Back story: I've ALWAYS had long hair. not crazy loony long, but pretty long. i've always LOVED my hair too, and gotten a good amount of attention for it as well. But over the last, oh, six months it has become the THORN IN MY SIDE. I won't trouble you with the details. suffice it to say it's time for a change.

and so, change i shall have. my appointment is set for this coming Sunday. I want drastic. I've never had short hair, and i figure it's about time to try it.

here's where you come in: please help me select what to do with this mop.

This is basically my face.
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This is basically what my hair looks like now, although i wear it curly and straight, equally.

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Here are things i like:
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i realize they're all fairly similar, but how many different things can you really do with hair ultimately? so, please tell me which you prefer....or what you think would look best. Deadline=Sunday.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Only Thing Worse

Than being stuck in traffic for three hours


later that night when you discover that your left arm, left side of the face and neck is completely scorched, leaving you with a very "phantom of the I-5" look.

how cute. All the bigwhigs at the meeting tomorrow are going to take me soooo seriously.

way to go breanna

on another note: a question for my bloggies:

If you could cancel forever a single thing you have to do every day (other than your job), what would it be?

Friday, July 29, 2005

Summer of Secrets

"But Breanna?!?!?! how come you took me off your blogroll????"

oh dear friends. all is not lost. I was sick and needed some amusement. so this is what i did:

I googled you.

yes, YOU.

i typed your very name into the google search and the pictures are what came up for YOUR name.


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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The Good News: we're moved into our house!!! and it's beautiful! and exciting! and fun!

The Bad News: we still don't have the internet, so you'll all have to wait a few more days for more Glimpses of my Graces (and such).

I miss you!!

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Diagnosis: Bronchitis

In case if you thought i've been out having so much fun......

I won't do that thing where i make you suffer through all the details, cause let's be honest, that's boring. for you, a brief summary:

1. Urgent Care sucks. particularly at 1am in NE Portland.
2. Bronchitis REALLY sucks. particularly when i have to use my much deserved vacation time just so i don't infect my coworkers, which means i won't get the beautiful week off i've been planning on for over 4 months now.
3. title companies suck. particularly when they cause your move in date to be pushed back by a week, see #2 for reasons why this sucks.

my apologies to those of you who are waiting with bated breath for your bloggerview questions. I'll let you know when they're ready.

for your entertainment today:

  • Try it, you'll like it
  • Friday, July 15, 2005

    5 Questions from Charlotte

    1)You've gotten all settled into your new house and get to invite any 3 people over for dinner. It can be anyone, but they have to be alive. Who do you invite and why? And, more importantly what do you serve for dinner?
    my best friend from high school. her name is Trista and she's fantastic. we stayed in touch for awhile after we both left the H E double hockey sticks hole that is Bakersfield, but then lost contact. i FINALLY found her again on the internet a couple months ago and we've been catching up, but I'd love to see her. I'd invite Hugh Grant (oh, like you're surprised) because he'd make a GREAT centerpiece for the table. and i'd invite, as one entity, Stacy and Clinton from TLC's What Not To Wear cause how awesome would it be to have them come to your house and tell you how you should dress. plus, that clinton! he's a hoot!

    2)You just got signed to a record deal! Congratulations, you totally deserve it!!! The catch is though it's an album of remakes. What 8 songs do you choose to re-sing. Keep in mind that flow of the album or your particular voice and style need not apply to the choices.
    Thanks! just what i always wanted! This is tough, cause people will think that my songs are revealing something about me. think what you will:
    1. Songbird by Eva Cassidy
    2. Crazy in Love by Beyonce (stop judging me)
    3. Danny's Song by Loggins and Messina
    4. Yours by Toby Mac
    5. Longer Than by Dan Fogelberg
    6. It's Oh So Quiet by Bjork
    7. If You Could Only See by Tonic
    8. Someone to Watch Over Me by Ella Fitzgerald
    3)We know you love Ben and you love being married, but what one piece of advice or warning do you wish someone would have given you before getting married?
    I've been married a year (okay, a year next Sunday) and i'm already supposed to give advice? that's like thinking i can be someone's therapist cause i saw Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting! advice would be to get ready to be laid bare. (stop it! i didn't mean LAID. BARE) It's this very interesting thing that happens where the one person whose opinion means more to you than anyone is the very person who knows every little thing that's wrong with you. It's a very vulnerable place to be. I always said i wanted to be fully known, but the truth is that it's as terrifying as it is exhillerating to be seen so clearly. and, if you marry a GREAT person like i did, they don't just see what's wrong with you, they call you out on it (lovingly of course) because they know you're capable of more. so, it can be painful to come face to face with yourself in such a raw way, particularly if it's for the first time. In summary: get your act together before you don the dress, because if you think the biggest change will be getting to know your new spouse, you'll be surprised to find you have to get to know yourself for who you really are.

    4)You can have free of charge and for the rest of your life a driver, a maid, a personal shopper or a cook. Which do you choose and why?
    Obviously i have to pick the cook, for the good of mankind (hint: mankind=my husband and future children). plus it would make it real easy to stick with healthy eating goals. like how Oprah got herself a personal chef and POOF! skinny. Coming in at a close second is the personal shopper, cause how awesome would it be to have someone say "here, wear this. you'll look great in it." instead of having the daily experience of "does this match? are there rules about these materials i don't know about?" and you wouldn't have to have that horrid experience of leaving the house thinking you look REAL dang good, only to catch a glimpse of yourself in one of those reflective windows and be all like "aaaaack!!! who is that monster wearing my same skirt?!?!" which would be nice.

    5)Today you have turned 24. Happy Birthday friend! What one thing do you want to do or have by the time you are 25?
    i want to be able to run a mile. not like fast or anything, but just without stopping. I think if i knew i could run a mile i'd probably do it all the time. i'm always intrigued and impressed with those people who just lace up and run around. i hear it's a great stress reliever, and you get that mystical "runner's high." i hear that your mind gets real clear and you can work out the problems of the world while you're pounding the pavement. i'd really like to know what that feels like, and to be able to casually say "oh, i run 10 miles a week" or something. those people have some secret power that i want to get my hands on.

    well alright. so i'm not going to offer bloggerviews to you people, because last time i did NOBODY took me up on it, and i can't deal with that can't of rejection again. BUT, hypothetically, if someone hypothetically wanted their very own bloggerview for their very own (hypothetical) blog, then i would hypothetically create some hypothetical questions especially designed for them. Hypothetically.

    Tuesday, July 12, 2005

    My Special Day

    Happy Birthday to me!
    Happy Birthday to me!
    Happy Birthday Breanna!
    Happy Birthday to me!

    what birthday traditions do you do?

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    Friday, July 08, 2005

    Willy Wonka and the Creepy Factory

    Call me unamerican if you must.

    Everyone seems to be quite stoked about the newest version of the famous "charlie and the chocolate factory" starring johnny dep. I have several friends who are REALLY looking forward to it. we're talking camping outside the theatre the night before excited. seriously.

    i can't get myself beyond being completely TERRIFIED of it. hear me out. this utter horror of the film is, in my opinion, totally justified.

    first, let's talk about the oompa loompas from the first film. basically they haunt me to this day. i kid you not.
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    secondly-am i the only one who thinks that johnny dep (who i've never found attractive) looks very VERY creepy??? it reminds me of when jim carey played the grinch and i couldn't bring myelf to look at the movie poster much less see the flick. it's that disturbing to me.
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    there are few things with which i'm unable to separate fact from fiction. this just happens to be one of them. i'm basically scared to turn on the television for fear of yet another commercial with johnny saying "you're weird" in the most haunting of voices. it's only a matter of time before he starts showing up in my already vivid dreams.

    let's just hope no one does a remake of wizard of oz. those flying monkeys would be the death of me.

    Tuesday, July 05, 2005

    One great cause

    Hey blogmunity:

    time again for us to do our best to make our time worthwhile. Time to bridge the gaps between our language and location and be united by the simple fact that we're all human. I'd like to encourage you to participate in the One campaign to make poverty history. Your voice DOES make a difference. This campaign is part of the Live 8 concert that took place this past Saturday. To learn more and to lend your voice go to this site.

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    Friday, July 01, 2005

    Use Protection!

    what happens when a pale girl spends too much unprotected time in the sun:

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    Wednesday, June 29, 2005

    everything I need to know I learned from TGIF

    remember the TGIF generation? all week we would look forward to awesome shows like Full House, Step by Step, The Cosby Show, Family Matters, Boy Meets World...the anticipation helped us survive homeroom and 7th period PE.

    We learned all of life's most important lessons:

    Even the nerdiest dudes deserve a chance...
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    we can learn to love our "dysfunctional" family...
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    sometimes it's worth the money to hire a professional...
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    school is actually a fun place to be...
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    nice guys can finish first
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    there are always fun ways to remember proper spelling ("double the C double the S and all day long you'll have success")...
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    and a little laughter can get us through life's crazy twists and turns...
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    i miss those days of 30 minute morals. No one ever got into more trouble than could be resolved with a little soft piano music and a hug. Shows lasted a lot longer back then. we watched our tv friends grow up, and realized we were growing up too. as much as i love reality tv and its short spurts of drama, romance and comedy, there's still a part of me that longs for the wholesome and cheesy family sitcoms that filled my Friday nights during those crucial years of personal development.

    Here's to DJ Tanner,Cory, Topanga, Michelle, Zack Morris, Steve Urkel, the Huckstables, Tim the Toolman Taylor, Cousin Dana and all the other small screen stars who showed me the ways of the world.

    Saturday, June 25, 2005

    a call to readers AKA July's What's in the Brown Bag?

    For those of you who LOVE LOVE LOVE to read books, as I do, I submit the following site

    It's a fantastic little site called "book-a-minute" that does just what it says: it allows you to read a whole book in a minute. This is not scholarly work, it's laugh out loud hilarious. take a few minutes and check it out. you won't be disappointed.

    Also. I need to know which of you are connected to me on one of the deepest levels...

    who has read "Ender's Game?"

    If you have not read it, please take my word for it, and go immediately to find it and read it. It is, by far, one of the top three books i've read to date. It's classified as "Sci-Fi" which i NEVER read (I don't like SCI-FI at all, i swear) but I read it at the request of a good friend, and I am hooked. There's a series of 8 if you find yourself as drawn in as I have and wish to continue, but Ender's Game is a MUST READ. I'll pay you $5.00 to read it. i really will. (well, let's have a limit. I'll pay the first 10 people to read it.and there will be a test you have to pass to prove you read it.)

    which leads me to this month's WHAT'S IN THE BROWN BAG. The first person to leave a comment that proves they've read the book PRIOR TO THIS POSTING wins. I like to reward Ender fans. Please try to word it in a way that won't give anything away to my future Ender readers.

    let the games begin.

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