Tuesday, February 27, 2007

i am already a horrible mother

this according to my boss.

we were sitting in this ridiculous training today, filled with less than intelligent people and your run of the mill awful trainers.

after about two hours of this (and given my awful heartburn keeping me awake till the wee hours) i started to feel hostile. i mean, seriously, people were asking really STUPID questions. so i make a very sarcastic (and funny) comment to the lady sitting next to me about the row of women two tables up who seem to be stuck in 1983 with their winged mullets.

my boss (who, as you may already know, i LOATHE) leans over to me and says, "breanna, you're passing on hatred and judgementalism to your baby. you need to focus on love and acceptance of those who bother you."

to which i replied

"no. i'm passing on high standards. i'm making it clear that stupidity is not an option."

he laughed a little. but seriously?!?! this is actually bothering me. for several reasons really. because, is he right? i mean, am i doing damage to my unborn child by being intolerant of people being voluntary idiots?

and also? is it okay that he even said that? given the fact that we are, in NO WAY, friends or even friendly on most days.

then, later at lunch i was talking to the girls about american idol. and he says
"breanna, you went to college, right?"
"what was your major?"
"so, you've been exposed to politics and ethics and social matters and such?"
"so why is it that you're always talking about shallow, useless things like reality tv?"

well i gave him an answer. and i won't bore you with it. but please keep in mind that i've been doing this bastard's job for over a year now. and that he is the scum of the scum of the earth. i could go on and on. but i respect you, so i won't.

but can i strike back somehow?
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Thursday, February 22, 2007

My sincerest apologies....

i can admit when i've been wrong. and i'm not too proud to say i'm sorry. here's proof:

dear cable guy,
i'm sorry that when you came to my house on August 26th 2006 i didn't take you more seriously. i shouldn't have made fun of you to all my friends, especially on the internet for all to see. that was mean and uncalled for.

furthermore, i'm sorry i did not heed your warning. i could've used those 4 months so much better than i did. how i was i to know that on december 27, exactly 4 months after your fateful housecall, i would find myself knocked up just like you said? you called it, cable guy. you and the many spirits you brought with you.

so here's my public apology. i owe you one buddy. instead of listening to you, i listened to all the doctor's that have told me i'd never be "with child." oh, if i had known then what i know now. no wonder you saw me as a "big green grape," as it seems to be shaping up that way. you sure know your stuff.

this is an open invitation to return to my house, cable guy, any time you want-cable or not. if you've got any inklings or dead people telling you about lottery tickets i should buy, or the best way for me to break into the music scene, please stop by. i'll be there, just me and the baby.


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

it's the most wonderful time of the year

lookie lookie what i found at the store today!!!!!!!!

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life is gooooooooooood.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

a minor rant

this happened awhile ago, but i've been behind on my podcasts and just heard about it today (also, i don't watch the news. so what.)

but have you heard this story about the woman who died in sacremento from a water drinking contest on a morning radio show to win a nintendo Wii??

if you haven't heard the story, watch this first:

so, the story develops, ten employees of radio show are fired, lawsuits are looming. blame is placed left and right.

but, i'm sorry? at which point does SOMEONE acknowledge that this woman drank herself to death VOLUNTARILY. she chose to participate in the stupid contest, she even signed a waiver. and yes, sure, the radio show staff should've looked into the risks of excessive water consumption. of course. but more than that SHE should have looked into it herself. i am actually angry about this.

because three innocent children are left without a mother AND without the stupid video game system because, despite drinking herself to death, she quit before winning. i just cannot fathom why she wouldn't have looked into it. PLUS someone called into the radio show and DID warn them about water intoxication and the risks. and SHE KEPT DRINKING. she said she felt sick. AND SHE KEPT DRINKING. all for a video game.

of course i think this is tragic. but i just get so angry about people being stupid, and no one seems to question it. why would she not say to herself, "you know, it would be great to give this game system to my kids, but i've just heard that trying to win it could be fatal. so i'm going to choose to give them a lifetime with a mother instead." i just DON'T get it.

and i hate this trend where it's acceptable to blame everyone else for things people choose. lawsuits against mcdonalds for making people fat. why isn't mcdonalds suing fat people for giving their business a bad name? why is ALL the blame being placed on these radio show employees? why do so many people get away with being stupid?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

"i'm like, you know, you're biggest um, fan"

i have a pretty extensive history of saying stupid things to celebrities. which means i've met quite a few celebrities. and blown it mostly everytime.

let me qualify "celebrity." for the most part, it's "celebrity in the Christian music world," although not every time.

it actually surprises me (still) that i get so flustered and fumbly around famous people. i'm a fairly cool person (in the sense that i am way too proud to let someone know i think they're cool in any way...well, normal people) with a great vocabulary who functions really well under pressure. so why on earth did i say the following thing to Dr. Laura this very night at Walmart???

DrL: hi! nice to see you!
me: (giggle. blush.) hi
she begins signing the book i stood in line for an hour to have her sign.
me: thank you (giggle. blush)
rebeccamarie: tell her what you wanted to say
me: oh. um. well i'm my husbands...i'm his wife. and it's because of your first book. well, not your first book. i mean the book before this one. i mean, not the one just before this one, but the one that comes before this one in the series. i mean, we were married before i read it, so it's not like, um, i'm a wife because of the book...but i liked the book. (deep sigh...humiliation begins to set in)
DrL:okay. good. thanks.
me: okay. thanks, um. thank you.

this isn't the first time. when i met jars of clay i said:
JOC: hey! thanks for coming out
me: yeah, cause i really like what you guys do. i'm glad you didn't like go mainstream just cause you could get more money. i mean, i'm glad you're, you know.
JOC:well thanks. hey, i really like your nailpolish!
me: well i got it at target. i could get more.
JOC: (looks to the person next to me, waiting for me to leave)

and when i met carmen:
C: hey little lady! (i was like 6)
me: i like the one where you box. because i like boxing. because my grandpa and i watch boxing. but i don't really like the song.
C: well i'm glad you like part of it

and when i saw will smith at magic mountain
me: hey will! do the line about the sugar! MORE SUGAR!
will: (from pretty far away) that wasn't my line!

it goes on and on. i'm not kidding. trust me that the words are may even more horrible by my bright red face and fidgeting and stuttering. it reminds me of that time i was on the news and made a total fool of myself...how far reaching could this be?!?! maybe i'll call dr. laura tomorrow and ask her for some help

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