Monday, October 10, 2005

My Glamorous Job

Just when you thought my job was all glitz and are the top 4 things from today's actual To Do List:

1. Call Roto-Rooter to discuss the technicalities of one child's turds being so large as to completely clog the toilet all by themselves. (seriously, like twice a week)

2. Call large-turded kid's foster parent to discuss need to "fish out and break up" said turds to prevent such clogging

3. Call large-turded kid's doctor to schedule enema.

4. Go to Fred Meyer to purchase scale for another child with potty problems so that their diapers can be weighed.

That's right folks. I had to find a scale to weigh some kids poopy diapers.

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glamorous my assorous


punkindunkin said...

What in God's name is your job? What are your *normal* job duties??

seriously... yuck!

PapaPeters said...

Hmm the rectal cavebear may suffer that problem for his whole life. We had a rectal cavebear on the 3rd floor of york he left soupcan sized turds in the toilet that had no hopes of ever going down. That was my whole freshman and sophmore year.

Breanna said...

actually, this is incredibly different from my normal job duties. i'm a behavior specialist for developmentally disabled kids...sometimes my job just becomes a catch all. you know how it goes.

ryan-i think i speak for all of us when i say "eww gross."

i lived in York senior seemed like there was a ghost haunting the i know the REST of the story!

Bill said...

And I thought I had to put up with a lot of crap at work.

(I'm sorry for that, I'll leave now.)

rebecca marie said...

are you accepting applications?

tabitha jane said...

i remember the rectal cave bear!!! (never met him of course, but heard tons of stories).

seriously breanna. your job is quite glamorous. (i'm totally being sarcastic here--ew.)

Scrapping Dani said...


Gabe and I spent a weekend at Emanuel with Melissa when I was 6 months pregnant with Sean. Melissa had a bowel abstruction. Took an enema, sapasitory (sp?), and a few laxatives later to get her to poop normal so we could go home. What fun to hang out at the hospital all weekend long dealing with that and taking care of Kelly who was only a little over two years old.

Man Breanna sounds like you need a vacation from your "shitty" job.

James Wood said...

I remember late night SARC meetings (Students Against the Rectal Cavebear). I remember crowding around Keo's computer and typing out the instructions that we posted in the stall:

Dear Rectal Cavebear:
1. Flush the toilet (just in case there's anything there)
2. Begin to dook
3. Pinch it off
4. Flush (break up the dook if necessary)
5. Resume dooking (pinching when necessary)
6. Break up any large dooks
7. Flush
8. Begin to wipe
9. Flush
10. Finish wiping
11. Flush
12. If it clogs: use the plunger and UNCLOG IT!

You can feel free to send those to the kid if necessary - though you might want to make them a little more PC (we were a little upset when we wrote them).

emilykaypeters said...

And I thought potty training a child that wasn't mine was bad. I mean, eww. But, it's all for the children's health right? Yeah, positive thinking really doesn't work in this situation.

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Nytro said...

yes... but do you have a crazy man calling and emailing you all day every day? this is the litmus test of a glamorous job.

Dancer said...

Maybe if you used the boston tooth bleaching system he wouldn't poop so much. Give it a try, they must know some sort of secret. *lol*

go to settings, comments and enable word verification on your blog homepage. Those spam jerks have it set up to send a message when people are talking about certain things. So, apparently if your talking about feces, you must have teeth in need of whitening. She said sarcasticly.

BSC said...

So how much did the poop weigh?

Breanna said...

leave it to you bsc to ask such a thing....the answer is, i didn't bother asking! i have to draw the line somewhere.