life is like

a floppy worm.

i was outside briefly this afternoon while kaia, suffering from pneumonia, napped inside. i saw this little worm guy on the concrete. i couldn't figure out which was his head or butt, and where his underneath was. he was just flopping all over the place, trying to get somewhere shady to keep from dying in the (rare) portland sun. i mean, this worm, he was literally about one inch from a little shady weed. but it was two rolls one direction, flop to another direction, two rolls....it took him nearly 4 minutes to get to that shady weed.

and i said to myself, "i feel like that lately." knowing WHERE i need to be, but having no clue how to get there, and not being able to get there in any sort of timely manner. not knowing which is my head or butt, where my underneath is. so frustrated to see my shady weed within reach, but just keep flopping and rolling.

it was at this point in my thinking that it occurred to me that if i had sufficient time to think this deeply about a worm, i ought to be in bed making up for last night's sleeplessness. but i keep thinking about the worm today. i'm tempted to take comfort in knowing that he finally got to his shady weed, but that feels way to cheesy, and i haven't had enough sleep for that kind of optimism.

isn't the goal "from glory to glory?" why do i feel like i'm going "from hardship to harship?"

living in the land of "what if"

my husband was very nearly killed tonight, no exaggerating necessary. on his way home from work someone in a huge truck ran a red light and came within a few feet of hitting his driver's side door. we're both very shaken up.

it's that weird thing where everything's completely fine...he's home just like always, no scratches on the car, nary a headache. but i can't pull my brain out of all the implications of WHAT IF??? what would my life look like tonight had someone's brakes failed or had my husband not seen it coming from the corner of his eye....if if if.

it's moments like this...like this and the time my brand new baby was rushed in an ambulance to another hospital for a laundry list of reasons....those kind of moments where you feel so humbled, so vulnerable...in search of how to say "thank you" in a way that doesn't sound offensive to a very big and gracious God.

our pastor was just talking about this at church sunday. that there's so much God does for us that we never even know about it. obviously, we know about this one, but it's such a reminder about everytime we get in the car and make it home safely.

so here it is, for all the world to hear...i am so grateful that God protected my husband. i'm so humbled by his goodness towards me. God is good...he is faithful and kind and full of compassion. and the thing is, had brakes failed tonight, those things would still be true....i'd just not see them quite as easily.

there is so much to be thankful for

dude, you're totally welcome

you guys know i'm an organizational freak right? like, full of list making skills and color coding and all that. it's less obvious now that i have a kid. but whatever. it's still in there somewhere, drowning in breastmilk. that's right, i just came right out and said breastmilk.

anway. my favorite thing du jour is this: www.getinherhead.com
go there. seriously. here's all the great things about it:

1. it's for dudes and chicks, cause there's also www.getinhishead.com
2. it will reminid you of important dates ahead of time so you're not up a creek without a gift
3. your significant other goes in and puts all this info about their sizes and preferences for EVERYTHING, food, restaurants, flower type, dream dates....on and on. then when you want to get them something or plan a date, it's all right there
4. you can schedule in periodic "out of the blue" reminders so that you can "spontaneously" show up with a card or flowers or whatever for no REAL reason
5. they've also come up with lists of top gifts for both genders, and great date ideas.

it really is incredible. and if any of you (or your spouses) are anything like my mister, this thing was designed with you in mind, and the overall success of your relationship.

so, check it out, and let me know if you decide to sign up (free) and if you like it. it's not like i invented it, or get paid to tell you. i just really like knowing when people do what i tell them.

an update on the girl

(hey, if you hate baby blog posts, blame lori, she asked for it!)

kaia's a little over 6 months now. shocking and soooooo strange! i hate how true it is (and this comment gets so annoying to me...and i hear it about ten times a day) that it "goes so fast!" i took her to the pediatrician two weeks ago for a tune up, and the pediatrician exclaimed "oh! she's so advanced! developmentally she's more like a NINE MONTH OLD than 6!"

now i know i'm supposed to feel great about that. and exactly half of me does. but the other half feels like "noooooooooooooo!! it's already going so fast, now there are THREE WHOLE MONTHS i'll never even see?!?! stop this train!"

but there is no stopping it.

kaia's delightful though. really and truly. in most ways. she's still not sleeping through the night. not even at all. and she's still preferring me over any other human. but she sits up, and rolls in every direction. she's got two teeth on the bottom (as sharp as can be) and has started eating my delicious homemade baby food. and, this is the big one apparently, she's crawling. she's done the army crawl for awhile now. and then she started crawling backwards. she doesn't get her knees up underneath her all the way yet, but boy does she scoot around!

and, as much as people keep telling me she's huge, she's right in the middle of the weight scale thingy for 6 month old baby girls. so there, general public. she's only 16 precious pounds...how can that be huge?!

here's what lori really asked for though. pics. enjoy!

this is our family easter pic. the mister had just come home from his 5 day dudes trip to vegas...he hadn't slept in a long time...can you tell?!

kaia likes bubbles. not in the traditional, giggling baby kind of way, but in the amazed and astounded sort of way.

for easter, kaia had a little felt basket with a few eastery things from the dollar section of target. don't tell her! oh wait, she was there and wide awake when we bought it all!

her first real sitting up by herself. (yes. i photograph EVERYTHING.)

i decided to be the coolest mom ever and let kaia play with some blobs of avacado puree once she was done eating it. i'm pretty stoked about the result:

just a little creativity...