Thursday, December 08, 2005

Rockstar? yes, if by "rockstar" you mean "liquid noose"

so there i was, it was thursday morning, this thursday morning to be exact. alright, it was just now. details details.

i had this wee pill to swallow. under oath i'd swear it was no more than a fourth of an inch long by an eighth of an inch wide. the pharmaceutical company that produces this capsule of neon pee producing goodness is even kind enough to put a magical coating on the outside to guarantee its swift decent from my mouth, down my tube, and into my circle area. you've all seen the commercials... you know the complex inner workings of the human body of which i speak.

now, i've taken this pill before, lots of times. water is my go to, but i will settle for coffee in a pinch. no no, silly, not literally a pinch of coffee... that's in no way enough liquid to take a pill with... i mean, i'll settle for coffee if no water is at the ready. i've never had an attempt on my life during this pill swallowing procedure. until today. today i chose rockstar. ladies and gentlemen, i implore you. learn from me. i nearly died. the combonation of rockstar and wee pill created an obstacle in my tube that nearly prevented the pill from reaching my circle area. not only that, it breifly prevented air from traveling the same path.

then, joy of joys, someone walked into my office, heard my desperate attempt to save my own life. it was misinterpreted as what is known as "coughing from the flu." recommendation? go home and rest.

luckily for my place of employment, i am a woman of integrity like no other, and i will choose to work despite the attempt on my life.



bonus prize: i have a new office now, one that is all my own. one of the window squares in said office has the following invitation etched: "LET GET HIGH."

6 comments:

rebecca marie said...

ooooh... do, let get high! what an awesome idea for our thursday.

PapaPeters said...

rockstar let get high on our lack of oxygen. Letget high on explosive caffeine tightning our vocal cords to keep out neon pee pill.
Again rockstar let get high.........

tabitha jane said...

nice narrative. i felt as if my oxygen supply was getting cut off as well . . . :)

(and regarding your comment on my post about yesterday's adventure: i'm here for ya anytime!)

BSC said...

Maybe it was the ghost of Let Get High. Maybe he's into autoerotic asphyxiation.

okay, that was messed up.

glad you survived. Let do Get high.

Tee said...

Thanks for your shout-out..I'm back!

rebecca marie said...

i invented rockstar!