Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Things That Should Be Banned From......(Part 2)

....business meetings

1. cell phones. seriously people...aren't we over the fad yet? do we REALLY need to show off our "cool new ring tones?" How many times do you have to turn red, reach into your purse/pocket/briefcase to push the button to silent "baby got back" and apologize to the room full of execs? also...once it's occurred for the first time, why not turn it off then?? why do you let it continue to to happen. Even worse...when has it ever been okay to answer the phone, tell your kid the grape juice is in the outside cupboard? it's not cute. end soap box one.

2.lady with the (count them) THIRTEEN clunky silver bracelets. This is not only tacky to look at, but you insist on making grandiose hand movements and slapping your hand to the table, causing me to wonder if the cows are on their way home. make it stop

3. knitting-do i even need to comment on this?Mr Bossman isn't paying you to make booties for your nephew's neighbor's ex-boyfriend's kid. Just because knitting is making a "comeback" doesn't mean it's kosher to bring your hobby into the boardroom. I don't haul my karaoke machine into meetings to practice "total eclipse of the heart"

4. bare feet. BEAR FEET. see what i'm saying? you slip your shoes off under the table and think we don't know. (sniff) we know.

5. 4 course meals. it's an hour long meeting, and sure, sometimes it feels like 5, but you don't need to bring in a cooler full of food to 'get you through it.' We all tote the Nalgene, and the occasional LUNA bar, but PLEASE stop bringing chips, salsa, sandwiches and soups.

6. playing games on the PDA. look mister, i don't even know why you have a PDA in the first place, we all know what you do around here (don't do more like) and you could fit the info on a post it. but when you sit in our meetings and tap tap tap the little plastic toothpick thing on the screen, we know you're not taking notes...you're obviously trying to beat your score from last tuesday. the least you could do is stay half aware of what we're discussing, so that when you are asked a question you have some idea of what to say. sheesh.

7. writing and passing notes to your coworkers. excuse me middle aged ladies, i realize it's fun to rehash your youth, and that you feel awesome having your little inside secrets and giggles. but this is not 7th grade homeroom. oh, by the way, i can always read what you write, seeing as how you're both losing your sight and write HUGE. secret's out.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

8 comments:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Great list. Where has this blog been all my life?

tabitha jane said...

most of you life, it hasn't been here at all. looking at the side bar, it was only born in may of this year . . .

James Wood said...

Vent. Vent away, my friend.

Breanna said...

it's as though i cursed myself

this morning i was all proud of myself for a fantastic (if i do say so myself) post to my blog

didn't stop to think that i was going to be in a three hour meeting this afternoon

can i just say, EVERY SINGLE THING i mentioned occurred at this one meeting...sick. i guess i'm working out some bad karma

tabitha jane said...

i think that this should be added to your list of things to ban from meetings:

people who are supposed to be taking minutes who instead write letters to their "boyfriend/finace/husband(we aren't sure)" and then send them in the mail using company stationary and company postage . . . but forget to address the envelope so it comes back in the mail and the receptionist (who was me at the time) opens it and discovers the truth.

that should be banned. periodically.

Tanya Kristine said...

wait Tabitha...they're not writing letters; they're BLOGGING!

funny...cell phone being embarrassed yet not turning it off...i hope i'm not this stupid...

PapaPeters said...

Um yeah and no more riff-raff at meetings like wedgies and fake fart noises really are we in 5th grade anymore, I didn't go through my junior in college 3 times for nothing....

Tim Lewis said...

Nice list! I wish more people were born with common sense.