Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bloggerview Rebecca Marie Style

Most of you will know what this is, cause you're all bright enough to know that
Rebecca Marie's blog is worth a daily visit. These are the questions she had for me. Read on and learn, and at the bottom you'll get the chance to participate yourself!

1) You found a bottle, rubbed it, and don’tcha know it, a genie popped out. What do you use your three wishes for? Yes standard wish rules apply, no extra wishes, just three.

Classic. I would wish that weight would stop being the thorn in my side. I'd like to be done with this issue once and for all. Secondly, I would wish that i could get a full ride to grad school (the real real grad school aka doctorate). and my last wish would be...oh fine, we're being honest here. I want to sing! I want to know if I've "got it." I want to know if I could make it. I want to know if i'm just one of those American Idol auditioners that thinks their awesome cause their friends and mom didn't have the heart to break it to them, or if God really has given me a passion for singing for a reason that amounts to more than performances inside of my truck. I want to know why the desire to lead worship burns in me if He didn't intend for me to actually DO IT. I want to know why singing brings me healing, accountability and peace like NOTHING else does. And if I do actually "have it" then what am I supposed to do with it? How far do i go to find out? (oh man...i just splashed my soul here...let me just wipe that up...)

2) For the rest of your life, you can only sing and listen to one of two songs, choose one. Dude looks like a Lady by Aerosmith, or Little Pink Houses by John Cougar Melloncamp.

I've never heard of "Little Pink Houses" so this presents a bit of a dilemma. i googled the lyrics, and have based my answer on what i read. Since i don't particularly enjoy "america" songs or "anti-america" songs....i choose dude looks like a lady. it's a painiful choice, and what's funny is that i feel actual anxiety...as though my making a choice somehow means this will really come to pass.

3) You’ve got Jesus’ undivided attention for one hour. How do you spend that hour?

the whole hour would be spent curled up in his lap, my head resting on his chest, his strong, saving arms wrapped around me. I have a feeling i would cry and talk about the hurts i hide, just to hear him say "it's alright little one. i'm taking care of that for you." i think i would use it to meet the need created by never having a dad...i've never had that feeling of being held and loved so thoroughly and unconditionally. i'm guessing we'd sing a song together. i think Jesus is a tenor. i wouldn't ask all the "why's" or have him tell me historical stuff. I wouldn't ask about my future, i would just want to be held.

4) You have to spend 10 years in prison, no way around it. So, you may as well commit a crime to make it worth your while. Describe your crime.

Okay guys...here's the dark side of Breanna. There's a man I'd like to kill (you said i had to choose!) I don't want to go into the story, because i've already given you a big dose of Breanna's reality and sometimes these things just aren't meant to be shared with the world. But if you knew my reasoning, i guarantee you'd agree that if i had to choose a crime this would be the one. about the how...i'd give him a dose of his own medicine and hit him with a truck. then i'd back it up, just to be sure.

5) Write a brief letter of encouragement and advice to you, ten years from now.
I've decided that i'm going to be better ten years from now, and so i'm writing a letter from my 33 year old self to my current 23 year old self...make sense? advice for me now from future me.

Dear Breanna,
All this time you've wasted with self-doubt and self-dislike wasn't worth it. Throw it out. that time could be used doing yoga, or playing with some awesome kids, or investing in yourself. Stop worrying about whether or not you're everyone's favorite person, and become YOUR favorite person. You know that guy Ben? he's got it together...you shouldn't be so afraid of being known by him. Don't let intimacy scare you so much. And for pete's sake, stop being a slave to your tastebuds! enjoy life, but you know that nothing tastes as good as thin feels...if you want to be delivered from the thorn you have to do something about it. You can't slap a bandage on the thorn trapping it in and hope it magically disappears. Also, stop trying to be your own savior. it won't work. you've got a perfectly wonderful Savior already. Lastly, you are a good person, you are intelligent and capable and even funny sometimes. You are thoughtful and compassionate. you're going to be a good mom, and you'll figure the wife thing out eventually. Don't shy away from the journey, and don't deny yourself the pleasure of self-acceptance. Love-33 year old you

Now, per Rebecca Marie's instructions, I am offering to interview the first five people responding to this post. The rules are as follows:
1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me please'.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here on my blog (not the same questions you see here, and probably not so probing and intimate...unless you want it that way)
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions


tabitha jane said...

thanks for sharing yourself breanna. brave, brave, girl.

yeah, jesus has to be a tenor, because god must be a bass and then they can sing duets in the angel choir! :)

Mrs. Andrea Wood said...

Does it have to be a whole 5 questions? That was a lot of soul out there- I don't know that I am as brave as you are.

Breanna said...

i promise dear friend that the questions will not be scary or soul spelunking. you can trust me.

PapaPeters said...

Breanna, my favorite part was your letter too your self. You know it would be good for us all to write ourselves every once in a while to remind us what we really want and what we really believe. You are Awesome, and I'm bitter Ben doesn't blog. The End