the strangest day

well, my "estimated due date" has come and gone, and my precious little baby has stayed put safely inside my apparently posh womb. i know that most first timers go past their due dates, i know that my mom had me two weeks after her due date. even still, it was the STRANGEST thing to live today like it was any other very pregnant but uneventful day.

this day, september 3rd, has been the object of my obsession for the last 9 months. i sincerely had convinced myself i'd have the baby early, or exactly on time. i hadn't necessarily considered being OVERdue. it was so surreal to say "today" when people asked me when i was due whilst attempting to walk myself into labor at IKEA this afternoon. i think it will be even more odd to say "yesterday" or "last week" when they ask from now on.

there's nothing an overdue pregnant chick loves hearing quite as much as "you look like you're about to POP right open! you're huge!" aaahhh...just makes you feel like the miracle vessel that you are, all dainty and lovely and such.

and also? please stop saying things like "what are you doing out and about? why aren't you at home? aren't you miserable? shouldn't you be laying down?" because, although i don't feel UNpregnant, i do feel mostly good and don't see any reason to be shut in my house and laying around. i'm taking advantage of what you all keep reminding me will apparently no longer be part of my life...just doing whatever i feel like doing, whenever i feel like doing it, with nothing holding me back. so there.

and i'm sorry that when you/your mother/your sister/your daughter/your cousin's neighbor's aunt was pregnant, going out was just not an option due to all the swelling/back pain/dizziness/inability to walk/general misery, and that you're jealous i'm still wearing my wedding ring and cute wedgy shoes. i'm just not convinced that pregnancy (or motherhood for that matter) requires the loss of style, spunk, organization, punctuality or ability to say no to plaid scrunchies.

one last thing (since this post has clearly taken on an entirely different tone than i originally intended), and please, hear me out on this one: you gave birth your way, and that's great. as long as you're happy with the experience and everything worked out fine, i feel NO NEED to tell you that your birth experience should've been any different. i've decided what's right for me based on what i value and what i've researched. and i know it sounds crazy to most people that i will not be having an epidural, or any other medical intervention (unless there's some emergency medical reason). i know that you wouldn't dream of that, and that you LOVED your anesthesiologist. BUT PLEASE stop telling me "you'll change your mind. you'll see."

because the thing is, i'm strong and educated and stubborn, and just because i've not yet given birth and felt contractions, doesn't mean i'm not capable of making decisions and sticking with them. it's not okay with me that so many of you (and, my blog reading friends, i'm sure you've realized by now that "you" is not YOU as much as it is "you, the general population of places i go") feel that it's appropriate to tell me what to do with my body, my baby and my birth experience. and i wish i had the guts to say that to you in person without the temptation of using words my fetus should not hear.

whew! i didn't realize that was all pent up. it seems that the pregnancy hormones are still in full force! let's end the post with something light and uplifting: