Monday, September 17, 2007

worth the wait

she's here.

and to be honest, i earned every last beautiful centimeter of her! it was 18 hours of hard, med free labor. which was the goal (well, the med free part). but after about 12 hours, i started to lose it. like psychologically lose it. i added myself to the list of women who say they're going to have a natural child birth, and then beg for an epidural. i was ashamed, but more desperate than i could ever explain.

so the anesthesiologist came in to give me the drugs. but remember that part about 18 hours of med free labor? that's because, even after SEVEN attempts, he could not get the epidural in. he eventually said he could not safely continue to try, and i heard him whisper to the nurse "this has never happened in my entire career!" i'm definately paying for those attempts now, let me tell you!

Kaia Grace was born at 3:50 pm on Friday. and, please forgive me for being blunt, but i've got as many stitches as a girl can have. nothing came easily for us.

the first 20 hours were as blissful as they could be given my physical condition. kaia is so sweet and delicate and peaceful.

saturday afternoon, less than 24 hours after she was born, things started going wrong. kaia turned purple and was put on oxygen. as they started doing tests to find out why she wasn't getting enough oxygen, they found a slew of other things going on: jaundice, possible heart size issues, rapid/shallow breathing and pneumonia. in the blink of an eye kaia was taken by ambulance to the NICU of another hospital, and i was left to figure out what on earth was going on.

the last few days have been horrendous. i can't and won't begin to explain what's gone on, but this darling girl has not had a very kind welcome into the world. it is the most helpless i have ever felt.

i was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon, and went immediately to my little girl. the doctors were saying all kinds of things, none of which sounded terribly optimistic. yesterday was, quite possibly, the worst day of my life (and after the labor, i thought that record would be impossible to beat!)

but, praise God, today was an entirely different story. when we came to the hospital today, she was totally off the oxygen, the jaundice light treatments. another xray this morning showed completely clear lungs and a perfect heart. and our little girl gets to come home tomorrow night once she's completed one more round of "just to be safe" antibiotics.

today was euphoria. we sat and held her (such a gift after not getting to hardly touch her for 2 days of her 3 days here!) and stared at her and i was baby drunk. i cannot express the humility and gratitude i feel for God's grace on our little girl, and for all the people who have sacrificed for us these last days. my faith has been tripled by seeing God's goodness in our friends and family who have prayed and prayed and prayed and offered us endless comfort and time. we are so very blessed.

so here it is. this is the picture of perfection, if you ask me. and although i am still in pretty awful physical condition, my heart is boiling with joy, and i don't hardly care about this pain. how could i? just look at her!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

11 comments:

Paula said...

She's beautiful. I'm so glad you're both going to be OK! I can't wait to come and meet her and see you!

Sarah said...

What a gorgeous little girl! Congratulations and heal well.

(((hugs)))
Sarah

rebecca marie said...

i love her.

LoriLoo310 said...

She looks just like her mama, totally gorgeous. You should be so proud.

I'm bursing with joy for you!

LoriLoo310 said...

Bursing? What's bursing?

BURSTING!

(sorry)

BSC said...

Awesome story. Good to see both of you doing well. Congrats

Ab & Brandi said...

She's precious!! What a tremendous gift from God. Congrats!!

Ashlie "I am not a pin cushion" blah, blah, blah... said...

Hey Breanna- not sure if you remember me, I'm Julies best friend from Spokane. I'm staying over at Julies right now and have been with her to find out everything going on with you and Ben. We've been sending up prayers for you and your little one. She is beautiful. Please tell Ben congratulations from Ashlie. You guys will be great parents!

Julie said...

Breanna- she is so precious!!!! We can't wait to meet her at Thanksgiving! We will keep you in our prayers as you are healing and trying to get back to your old self. It won't be too long! Give her a big hug and kiss for us and try to get some sleep.
We'll keep you updated on Laila. Hopefully next week. Cross fingers!

Love,
Julie

Jess said...

What a precious little girl! What a scary last few days! What a blessing she is doing well now and gets to come home. Enjoy your new little princess!

Aimee Jo said...

She is BEAUTIFUL!! Congratulations--I am so happy for you guys. Isn't it the best feeling in the world to hold your little girl?? I'm so glad that she is now home. Blessings on you as you adjust to your new life.