knock knock

so, last night i was safely at home, in my pj's and cooking dinner (you'd have been impressed...orange chicken and herbed mashed potatoes and asparagus). it was about 7pm. then the doorbell rang. now, i haven't been a real grown-up all that long yet, so i still get pretty excited at unexpected visitors, even though, now that i think about it, they've never been people i'd invite over.

well i went to answer the door, and there stood a guy who looked kinda like this:


only not nearly as hunky. but the outfit is what is key. mainly the hat. only his was olive green.

there are two very important things that you need to know about me at this point in the story. the first is that i desperately WANT to be one of those people that is terrifically educated and concerned and active about the environment. i really do. the problem is, i'm just not. however, if faced with the question as to whether or not i love the environment and would do whatever it takes to preserve her/it, i will ALWAYS say yes and nod my head as though it was already my life's goal to stop global warming.

the second is, and please don't take advantage of this, i just CAN'T say no to people who are working for a cause. and it doesn't matter which cause. i just remember back to when i was trying to raise money to work at a Russian Orphanage, and how miserable it was going door to door. and my mom did a great job of teaching me "it's not how much money you have, it's what you do with it that makes the money valuable" (and trust me, my mister usually wishes my mom would've worded that differently...) so i generally will give whatever money i have in my wallet or purse or couch cushion to whatever cause is knocking at the door or calling during dinner. and the mister is not too pleased with this.

so we've worked out a system that saves us both. he told me that anytime someone calls or comes to the door wanting money and i don't want to be mean or hurt their feelings, i can always say "i'll have to wait to discuss it with my husband. we make all financial decisions together."

this has worked like a charm, as i don't have to be a jerk, and he doesn't have to be mad that i gave away more of his hard earned money.

so this is what i did last night. the guy was very pleasant, quite nice. he wanted to talk about the environment and how the government is doing nothing to save it and how we have to step up and do it ourselves. he said to me, "i'm sure you're already very knowledgeable about the unfortunate state of the environment" to which i replied, "oh yes, very knowledgeable." to which he replied, "so you're on the same page? you want to join our grassroots efforts?" to which i replied, "oh yes. very much."

and then i knew i had to get out of it. he got very excited about my response and began spitting out stats and dollar figures and political jargon and i just kept nodding and hoping the chicken wasn't burning.

eventually i said, "what can i do to help today?" and he said "the best thing is to give money right now. that's what we really need." so i knew i was safe. i had my no-fail out. so i gave him the husband spiel. to which he replied, "well, do you know when he'll be home? i'll be in the neighborhood until nine. i could come back." i said, "oh, he won't be home until very late, and i'm not very comfortable with a late visitor because it's only the two of us that live here, so i'm all alone." so i asked him for the website and assured him i would share the info with my mister later that night.

as i was saying this, my oblivious husband comes walking down the stairs in his underoos and says, "when will dinner be ready honey?"

the guy at the door was visibly upset at having caught me in a lie. i didn't even acknowledge the mister, i just said to the door guy, "and if you see my husband later, please don't tell him about the guy in his underwear. that would be bad." and shut the door.