turns out today was a great day for me.
not only did cable television find it's way back into my house, but i'm going to have a baby.
not that i'm pregnant. oh no. but lucky me got the one cable guy who's also a psychic, a medium, an aura reader, a tarrot card reader and a reiki master.
seriously. so as he's installing my cable...he also gave me a "reading"
the following are direct exerpts from my hour with the cable/psychic/meduim/you get the idea:
him: do you have any kids?
me: no
him: well you will. soon
me: really?
him: yes, it's a girl. she's waiting for you
me: interesting. that will come as a surprise to all of us
him: within four months you'll be pregnant. so start getting ready
me to myself: better double check that my birth control pills are in adequate supply
him: i just have one thing to say, you'll know exactly what it means
me: okay.
him: your aunt is always with you. she wants you to know that.
me: she does? wierd.
him: she's here, with us now.
me: that's creepy, cause the only aunt i have is married to my uncle and living in northern california. i mean, i guess i could have another aunt i'm not aware of, since i don't know my dad at all.
him: yes. that's it. it's on your dad's side of the family.
me: how would she know she was my aunt if i don't even know who my dad is?
him: look, i'm working my "other job" right now, so i can't give you all the information. but i'll leave my number with you and we can do a full reading. i'll let your aunt come through and she'll explain everything. i charge forty dollars per half hour.
me: oh, okay.
him: you wouldn't believe how many people are here in the room with us. i'm, like, trying to work here, and they just keep talking to me, telling me things to tell you and i'm like, hey! shut up for awhile!
me: that must be very frustrating.
him: yeah. i'm used to it though. there's eight of them who go around with me everywhere.
him: i read auras too you know
me: oh yeah?
him: you're all green.
me: i am? good green or like, stomache acid green?
him: good green. it means you're all heart.
me: oh good. that's the better option.
him: yeah. when i look at you, all i see is a big green grape.
me to myself: could you just please leave now? i don't feel comfortable anymore.
he then told me about all his ex-girlfriends and wife. all of them virgos. he said he falls for virgos all the time, but always crashes hard.
he also told me that he breezed through the requirements to be a reiki master. he heals people's bruises, and injuries from past lives. he said he hopes to come back next time as an eagle. or a flamingo.
these kinds of things went on for about an hour.
before he left, cable properly installed, he made sure to turn my television to the sci-fi channel. big effing surprise.
so, you can all get started on baby gifts. if i get pregnant in four months that makes it December, i'll find out around February and and be due sometime around next September. someone needs to start planning a HUGE party...and remember, it can be all pink, cause it's a girl.
(someone else needs to remind me to refill the BC prescription. pretty please)
now...onto the cable. anyone up for a little "baby story" on TLC?
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