have you started listening to adam yet? well if you have, then you heard this mind boggling story this morning. i HAD to come share it with my blogmunity...i can't wait to see some of your comments/reactions (hopefully plenty of you will read this one...) and hopefully you haven't already heard it, because i just learned that it's been EVERYWHERE. but i love telling people things for the first time.
here it is, in my own words (but i double checked the facts on cnn.com)
it all starts in wichita kansas. this 35 year old woman named pam somethingorother is at her boyfriend's house and goes into the bathroom. she stayed in there for awhile. when the boyfriend went to check on her, she refused to come out. she said "maybe tomorrow." and that's exactly what she said the next day, and the next day, and EVERYDAY FOR TWO STRAIGHT YEARS. seriously. and the boyfriend just went along his merry way, giving her food and water (under the door?) and asking her if she wanted to come out today. after TWO YEARS of sitting on the toilet, he finally decided to call someone and let them know, and i quote "something is wrong." ready for it to get grosserer?
because she did not get up for two years (i just can't begin to imagine how that's physically possible) her body fat actually molded itself around the toilet seat, which had to be removed with a prybar, and the muscles in her legs had wasted away. she still hasn't said why she stayed on the toilet for 2 years.
she's in the hospital now, and both pam and the boyfriend are being checked out for mental issues. if ever there was a time to revive "duh," it's now.
good points adam made (which i'm including to add more humor, since my best related joke is "that's a lot of issues of reader's digest"):
"probably not a lucritive career, imagine calling in sick for two years."
"i don't think he was that into her... eventually a guy in love kicks in the door"
"if her fat is growing around the toilet...she's eating? what, is he sliding matza under the door?"
"i'm guessing they didn't enteretain a lot of houseguests...'can i use your bathroom?' 'DON'T USE THE ONE IN THE HAAAAALL!!' " ' whatever happened to that nice girl you were dating last year?'
"what do you think she initially went in there for? i'm assuming #2. you don't go in for #1 and stay for two years."
"honey? what do you want on your pizza tonight? it's got to be a thin crust...and do you want me to just pour sprite under the door so you can soak it up with a towel and then just squeeze it into your mouth?"
oh, and this is the front of their house...i'm just saying...