Monday, October 30, 2006

see ya later!

i've been looking forward to this for quite awhile now...and it's finally here! in a mere 10 hours the mister and i board a plane bound for ORLANDO FLORIDA!!!

i've never been on that side of the country and i couldn't be more ready for a looooong break! and i haven't packed yet, so you get lovely florida pictures instead! see you next week!
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our AMAZING hotel...portofino bay resort:
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what i'll be doing most of the time:
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go ahead. be jealous. every blogger gets their chance for a vacay...this is mine!

Monday, October 23, 2006

dolls are scary. need proof?

for my 13th birthday i decided to have the ultimate girl sleepover complete with messy pedicures, thirty bags of doritos and microwave s'mores. and i figured that one's 13th birthday is exactly the time to watch one's first SCAAAARRRRY movie. so off me and the little ladies went (full pajama attire) to blockbuster (remember those? they were these stores that let you browse around and rent movies for a few days...) and trekked down the horror film aisle. and what did we choose?

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we all giggled at how silly it would be. how dumb. by the time we were 20 minutes in...we were all silent in terror, hoping no one else would notice the trembling and nail biting. when the movie ended, we all forced giggles and "that was like, so laaaame" but none of us slept a wink. and no one went to the bathroom until daylight because my grandma has this insane collection of giraffe figurines ranging from very small to ENORMOUS and creepy lining the hallway front to back.

since that night, i've been quite afraid of dolls. basically, all dolls look like this to me:
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

knock knock

so, last night i was safely at home, in my pj's and cooking dinner (you'd have been impressed...orange chicken and herbed mashed potatoes and asparagus). it was about 7pm. then the doorbell rang. now, i haven't been a real grown-up all that long yet, so i still get pretty excited at unexpected visitors, even though, now that i think about it, they've never been people i'd invite over.

well i went to answer the door, and there stood a guy who looked kinda like this:
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only not nearly as hunky. but the outfit is what is key. mainly the hat. only his was olive green.

there are two very important things that you need to know about me at this point in the story. the first is that i desperately WANT to be one of those people that is terrifically educated and concerned and active about the environment. i really do. the problem is, i'm just not. however, if faced with the question as to whether or not i love the environment and would do whatever it takes to preserve her/it, i will ALWAYS say yes and nod my head as though it was already my life's goal to stop global warming.

the second is, and please don't take advantage of this, i just CAN'T say no to people who are working for a cause. and it doesn't matter which cause. i just remember back to when i was trying to raise money to work at a Russian Orphanage, and how miserable it was going door to door. and my mom did a great job of teaching me "it's not how much money you have, it's what you do with it that makes the money valuable" (and trust me, my mister usually wishes my mom would've worded that differently...) so i generally will give whatever money i have in my wallet or purse or couch cushion to whatever cause is knocking at the door or calling during dinner. and the mister is not too pleased with this.

so we've worked out a system that saves us both. he told me that anytime someone calls or comes to the door wanting money and i don't want to be mean or hurt their feelings, i can always say "i'll have to wait to discuss it with my husband. we make all financial decisions together."

this has worked like a charm, as i don't have to be a jerk, and he doesn't have to be mad that i gave away more of his hard earned money.

so this is what i did last night. the guy was very pleasant, quite nice. he wanted to talk about the environment and how the government is doing nothing to save it and how we have to step up and do it ourselves. he said to me, "i'm sure you're already very knowledgeable about the unfortunate state of the environment" to which i replied, "oh yes, very knowledgeable." to which he replied, "so you're on the same page? you want to join our grassroots efforts?" to which i replied, "oh yes. very much."

and then i knew i had to get out of it. he got very excited about my response and began spitting out stats and dollar figures and political jargon and i just kept nodding and hoping the chicken wasn't burning.

eventually i said, "what can i do to help today?" and he said "the best thing is to give money right now. that's what we really need." so i knew i was safe. i had my no-fail out. so i gave him the husband spiel. to which he replied, "well, do you know when he'll be home? i'll be in the neighborhood until nine. i could come back." i said, "oh, he won't be home until very late, and i'm not very comfortable with a late visitor because it's only the two of us that live here, so i'm all alone." so i asked him for the website and assured him i would share the info with my mister later that night.

as i was saying this, my oblivious husband comes walking down the stairs in his underoos and says, "when will dinner be ready honey?"

the guy at the door was visibly upset at having caught me in a lie. i didn't even acknowledge the mister, i just said to the door guy, "and if you see my husband later, please don't tell him about the guy in his underwear. that would be bad." and shut the door.

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Monday, October 16, 2006

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

is it just me? part 2

(i think my brain is undergoing a major paradigm shift...i sense a series of posts coming...no pressure to care or read, i think i just need to use this avenue to work out some thoughts...)

Many have traveled this road before
I see their tracks in the dirt
maybe I don't agree with where they all lead.
But who am I? just a youth...
but why has that become the excuse?
A monotone voice in my head saying,
"dreaming all the time is so foolish.
Your flood of empty words will drown you in ruin."
So we listen.
But should we listen?
They shake their heads as they drive away in the bandwagon
I didn't feel like hitching a ride
But I'll be fine
Some nights it's hard to be alone
I want some kind of kinship at the finish line
it drives me on when they say,
"dreaming all the time is so foolish.
Your flood of empty words will drown you in ruin."
So we listen.
But should we listen?
Come with me! They'll call us REVOLUTIONARIES!
Come with me! They'll call us REVOLUTIONARIES!
Dreaming all the time is NOT foolish
Your flood of lifegiving words will refresh
Should we listen, REVOLUTIONARIES?
i have loved this song for a long time. but just today it hit me in a totally different way. i'm working in a field that is intended to be about the business of helping people...healing people. and yet the road is paved with half-hearted footsteps...selfish, self-serving footsteps. it's so widely accepted to do only what is required...just enough to CYA. and i've never felt at home in that mentality. i've been the misfit who is told that my passion for this work will only do me in...come back to bite me. they say the passion and drive will fade as i gain more experience. they have tried to shatter my dreams of what i can do in this world, and for awhile now, i've let them.
but no more! i was not made for mediocrity. i was not given this passion and drive and ability just to throw it all away and fade into the masses. these dreams are not just my own, and they are not unrealistic or unattainable. i can bring about my dreams, both in my career and my personal life. there just isn't any reason not to. the only thing in my way is whether or not i let others say no.
and why is everyone so comfortable with this mediocrity? we all have greatness waiting for us...why do we stop short? did you ever hear about that chick who wanted to swim across the atlantic ocean (or something like that) and she swam for like 20 hours (or some really long time) and a fog settled in and she couldn't see where she was going, and couldn't tell if she was even going in the right direction. so, after a zillion hours of swimming, she called to be picked up by the rescue boat. when they picked her up, she was less than half a mile (so they say) from her destination!!!!
now, i realize that there will be fog between me and these goals of mine, it's inevitable. but i don't have to let people force fog on me, force me to think i'm off course or will never get to where i'm going.
so basically, friends. COME WITH ME! THEY'LL CALL US REVOLUTIONARIES!!!

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