hijinx at 30,000 feet

hello there friends. remember me? i'll admit i've gotten distracted with my 365 blog and ALL THE OTHER THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE and have neglected to enrich your lives with my profound and hilarious musings.

so, i'm back in full force with an action packed, suspense filled story.

have i ever told you about the time my flight was hijacked? no, i'm being serious. it was my freshman year of college and i was on my way back to portland after being home for christmas break. i took a late flight out of LAX. the flight was fairly empty. i had a row to myself and was cozied up with a crappy airplane pillow and blanket. about thirty minutes into the flight, we felt the airplane start to turn. i looked out the window and could see us going back the other direction. the pilot came on the speaker and said something about needing to make an emergency landing back in LAX. there was no mention of the reason. we heard muffled commotion from the front of the plane. i was near the wing, so i really couldn't make out anything being said, but people started to really panic all over the plane. we all felt like something was REALLY wrong. i did the only thing i could think to do to try to calm down...i started humming and then singing to myself.

as we approached the airport, we could see dozens of vehicles with flashing lights...cop cars, fire trucks, ambulances, other "official" things i couldn't possibly name. the landing was horribly trecherous. as soon as we started to come to a stop, all the flashing lights and sirens rushed in. some sort of airport FBI dudes (or whoever it would be) came quickly on to the plane and rushed all of us out and immediately into this secret room in the airport. we had no idea what was going on. we sat in that room for several hours, not knowing what was happening. we were all hypothesizing about it, and coming up with increasingly scary potential causes.

at some point, officers came in and spoke with each of us about what we had seen or heard. they took statements from us, which was silly considering we hadn't a hint of what really went on. hours later they sent a representative to explain that some guy had tried to hijack the plane (this was just a few years before 9/11) and one of the pilots was able to somehow restrain him, but that we had to return to LAX because it was closer than continuing on to portland.

anyway, they put us on another flight in the early morning of the next day. and that was that.

i tell you this story to say something that is belated but necessary.

that guy that's trying to sue the airline for the "miracle on the hudsen" thing...i want to kick his jewels. HOW DARE HE?!? he should be licking the feet of that pilot, and writing a bucket list and righting all his wrongs. it's sickening to me that he has such selfish disrespect and lack of gratitude to try and make the situation ABOUT HIM. i didn't receive any kind of compensation. no free flight or money for damages suffered. and it never would have occurred to me to want it. i was SO GRATEFUL for the pilots who handled the situation so well and kept us all safe. i felt indebted to them, not OWED.

and there you have it. one of my best stories.

what's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you?