Sunday, January 18, 2009

the croup

although we're not pet people, we've got a little baby seal living with us presently. see, as it turns out, the croup isn't just for anne of green gables. apparently, it's alive and (not-so) well today. the poor dear is miserable, all sneezy and gooey and barky. we're becoming bff's with our local ER.

let's check the list so far:
pneumonia x 2
immunde disorder
every food allergy known to man
possible catatonic seizures (this is new)
possible cancer (but test results have been good on this so far)

not to mention your run-of-the-mill ear infections, teething misery, colds and whatever else i'm too sleep deprived to remember.

and she's only 16 months. i'm officially fed up. and if i've said that before, then i'm official MORE fed up. and tired. profoundly tired.

HOWEVER i'm also keenly aware of how blessed we are to have a sweet and particularly gorgeous little girl to cuddle.

so, i'm making a gratitude list today. because otherwise i'll just keep crying.

1. we have the single greatest pediatrician of all time
2. we have been blessed with incredibly gentle and friendly ER staff each and every time we've been there
3. we have insurance coverage. it isn't spectacular, but it's there
4. last night, while in the ER, we got to overhear some REALLY amusing conversation between the staff and a guy that was brought in because he was super duper drunk.
5. so far, a lot of the most terrifying things have turned out to be less terrifying things.
6. although it's a struggle, we're able to survive mostly on ben's income. so i don't have to get a paper route at 4am to get us by each month.
7. blues clues. i am eternally grateful for blues clues. i'm also eternally grateful that i thought to put some episodes on my ipod. this makes ER visits and painful testing more bearable for her.
8. kaia is filled with grace. even after the most painful of tests, she'll wave at the person poking at her when they leave the room. also, she keeps loving us, even though we're the ones holding her down for all this mess
9. although i don't presently feel it, there is a lot of hope. answers SURELY exist, and i'm determined to find them.
10. my husband lets me sleep in on almost every saturday. he's not really (in any way) romantic, but today i said to him "sleep is the only romance i'm interested in at this point in my life" and i really meant it. i'd take an hour of napping over jewelry or chocolate or cute new shoes any day. (although i reserve the right to retract that statement in the future, once sleep exhists more regularly again).


AddysMommy said...

You are an AMAZING mom. As someone with a fellow 16-monther, I can atest to how difficult just normal everyday things are...this is above and beyond. Kaia is a lucky little girl to have a mom to fight as hard as you and to be able to look to the future for hope (no matter how hard and seldom it may be). PLEASE tell me if I can do ANYTHING! I really mean that.

LoriLoo310 said...

I second what AddysMommy said. God chose you to be Kaia's mom because He knew she needed someone extra special to care for her. I think you have beyond proven than you are a super-mom. I will continue to pray for you both. If you ever need to get away for a bit, we have a guest bedroom waiting for you. We could sit in the basement and drink coffee and talk of designer purses and shoes while the children play together.

Carrie said...

Way to be a super-mom Breanna! I'll be praying for your family!

Jess said...

Holding down your baby so that someone can jab in a needle in the worst! (Not to mention the chest x-ray machine! can you invent a way to take an x-ray that can be any more scary for a child?) What a blessing it is for Kaia to have such a strong mommy!