pregnancy is "sacred"

i think it's not any small coincidence that "sacred" and "scared" are basically the same word, like one little typo...

i'm 5 months pregnant now. it's so strange that it still feels really brand new...i'm not at all used to it yet. perhaps that's because it's NEVER the same. nothing has been predictable for me. here's what my week has been like:

those are the only pics i could get that didn't include any amount of girlie parts...you get the idea. my entire chest/stomach have been covered in those electrode probe thingies...each connected to it's own colorful wire. i felt like science.

apparently, my heart is not doing such a great job of adjusting to creating life. my heart's been racing and skipping beats like mad...very alarming. so i was in and out of the hospital this week. once my heart finally calmed down, i got slammed with a ridiculous cold/flu/misery type thing. here's something you never thought you'd hear me say...i'm sick of cable television. i'm dying for some human contact. like, real reality...not just my beloved reality tv.

on the upside: we find out monday if the baby has a penis or a vagina. that's right. and i'm definately excited.

there's the update. seems like blogland has been quiet for awhile, and that's fine. if nothing else, i know my mom still reads my blog!

my new career aspirations

i'm pretty sure celebrity gossip blogging is about the single greatest gig ever. if i could choose a new job right now (and i think about this constantly) i think the celeblog is the way to go. i mean, i can be snarky and feisty and witty and use fun fonts and daily contests (anyone remember the hit "what's in the brown bag?!?!"). i can come up with new paris hilton jabs and jokes about tom and katie. i could TOTALLY rock it as a celeblogger (a term i'm pretty sure i made up all by myself. like blogmunity. other people claim that...but i'm sure it was me that typed it first.)

the thing is, i can't figure out how it works. how on earth did this guy get famous enough to be let in to EVERY celebrity party and award show? where does this fabulous site get all the dirt?

and more importantly, how are they making a living from it? where does the money come from?

i've been thinking about this a lot...and i've figured out how to get my foot in this very valuable door. here's my plan:

if everyone i know becomes super famous, and gives me the express rights to all their deep dark secrets. then i'll just post them on the internet for all to see. about two months after that, i'll start getting calls from the adam carolla radio show, good morning america and total request live. not too long after that i'll branch out and start my own interactive celebrity gossip magazine/blog/1-900 number. it shouldn't take too long before i get my own talk show, couture shoe line for target and people tattoo my face/name on their various parts when drunk.

as you can see, it's a failproof plan.

so, i've done my part. now you....go get famous.


and until then...here are some of my favorite celeblogs: (and don't say i didn't give you a heads up about grownup content/language)
www.dlisted.com
www.thesuperficial.com
www.celebspin.com
www.egotastic.com
www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com

have fun little bunnies.

let the hormones rage on!

i saw this today and cried like someone broke my ipod.

i am already a horrible mother

this according to my boss.

we were sitting in this ridiculous training today, filled with less than intelligent people and your run of the mill awful trainers.

after about two hours of this (and given my awful heartburn keeping me awake till the wee hours) i started to feel hostile. i mean, seriously, people were asking really STUPID questions. so i make a very sarcastic (and funny) comment to the lady sitting next to me about the row of women two tables up who seem to be stuck in 1983 with their winged mullets.

my boss (who, as you may already know, i LOATHE) leans over to me and says, "breanna, you're passing on hatred and judgementalism to your baby. you need to focus on love and acceptance of those who bother you."

to which i replied

"no. i'm passing on high standards. i'm making it clear that stupidity is not an option."

he laughed a little. but seriously?!?! this is actually bothering me. for several reasons really. because, is he right? i mean, am i doing damage to my unborn child by being intolerant of people being voluntary idiots?

and also? is it okay that he even said that? given the fact that we are, in NO WAY, friends or even friendly on most days.

then, later at lunch i was talking to the girls about american idol. and he says
"breanna, you went to college, right?"
"yes."
"what was your major?"
"psychology"
"so, you've been exposed to politics and ethics and social matters and such?"
"yes."
"so why is it that you're always talking about shallow, useless things like reality tv?"

well i gave him an answer. and i won't bore you with it. but please keep in mind that i've been doing this bastard's job for over a year now. and that he is the scum of the scum of the earth. i could go on and on. but i respect you, so i won't.

but can i strike back somehow?

My sincerest apologies....

i can admit when i've been wrong. and i'm not too proud to say i'm sorry. here's proof:

dear cable guy,
i'm sorry that when you came to my house on August 26th 2006 i didn't take you more seriously. i shouldn't have made fun of you to all my friends, especially on the internet for all to see. that was mean and uncalled for.

furthermore, i'm sorry i did not heed your warning. i could've used those 4 months so much better than i did. how i was i to know that on december 27, exactly 4 months after your fateful housecall, i would find myself knocked up just like you said? you called it, cable guy. you and the many spirits you brought with you.

so here's my public apology. i owe you one buddy. instead of listening to you, i listened to all the doctor's that have told me i'd never be "with child." oh, if i had known then what i know now. no wonder you saw me as a "big green grape," as it seems to be shaping up that way. you sure know your stuff.

this is an open invitation to return to my house, cable guy, any time you want-cable or not. if you've got any inklings or dead people telling you about lottery tickets i should buy, or the best way for me to break into the music scene, please stop by. i'll be there, just me and the baby.

sincerely,
breanna