the story at the moment is about this woman who saw an add for a psychic in her local newspaper. she went to see the psychic for a reading, who started by lighting candles around the room. at the end of the reading, the psychic announced that there was a terrible curse on the lady and her family, but that she (the psychic) would be able to remove it. the psychic then handed over the bill for the reading, which included a 25 dollar charge for EACH candle that had been lit. over the next several months, the lady reports that she paid the psychic over 220,000 dollars. i'm sorry...what? TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. including the purchase of a 20,000 dollar watch that the psychic claimed would "reset the time in life" for the lady and her family.
here's what kills me most of all. this lady who paid 220,000 dollars is on television, wanting me to feel SORRY for her. hm? what? seriously? you willingly handed over hundreds of thousands of dollars to a woman who claimed there was a curse on your family, and you want me to feel bad for you?! not bloody likely. at the end of the interview, when asked what she hoped would happed to the psychic who is now being sued, the lady replied "i hope to get my money back. and i hope she spends a looooong time in jail."
well i hope you don't see a dime. stories like this make communism appealing (only kidding, please don't pulverize me). this idiot lady has all that money just waiting to be swindled, meanwhile i'm using the internet at work to find out what's going on with all my favorite cable tv shows since we cancelled ours three months ago.
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i've always been a reader. i was the nerd who read the thesaurus during the summer between my 2nd and 3rd grade year...just for fun. feel free to hate me. most kids my age did.
but as an adult, i've only just begun to find myself as a reader. i've read loads of books from all sorts of genres, generally based on recommendations from friends. but all on my own i discoverd augusten burroughs. i've read all of his books and loved every word. he's the one that wrote "running with scissors" which is definately my favorite book at this point in my life (aside from "are you there god? it's me, margaret") i just found out a few days ago that the movie of "running" will come out in october and that gwenneth paltrow is in it. i can't wait.
anyways. i love augusten burroughs' work. LOVE IT. i'm constantly begging people to read any of his books so that i have someone to talk with about it. so tonight, bored and home alone, i decided to visit his website. i spent hours reading through everything. then i looked him up on myspace. and found him.
here's the thing. this is my OPPORTUNITY. i mean, it's myspace, you can send a message to anyone, and basically know they'll read it. this thrills me. at first. but then i started reading through all the comments on his page. it's all these people trying to be....literary. or, at least, smarter and wittier than they probably are. so i'm TOTALLY stuck...i don't want to send a lame "i love every book you've ever written" message. but i also don't want to be obviously trying to impres him. i mean...he's this BRILLIANT and HILLARIOUS author...what could i possibly say? i literally stared at the empty "send augusten a message" box for almost an HOUR, just begging my brain to come up with something acceptable. to no avail.
what do you say to your favorite author? or musician?
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have you seen the video of the chick on maury povich who's terrified of pickles? i can't remember where i saw the link to the video, so if it was from one of your blogs, i'm sorry for not giving credit.
i think it's completely bogus. i think most people's phobias are lies. a local radio station was talking about phobias today, and a lady called in who was terrified of goats. GOATS. the radio personalities would play a recording of a goat noise, and the woman would freak out. i just don't buy it.
i get being afraid of the dark. or of knives. or clowns even (shudder). but being terrified of pickles? impossible. when pickle-sissy was on maury, he showed a picture of pickles on the screen behind her. she screamed and jumped out of her chair and ran away. she's not afaid of cucumbers. just pickles. maury made her go to a pickle factory. that was good television. and don't try to call me out saying that it's a mental health or brain disorder thing. don't forget that my entire job is about mental health and developmental disorders. i get that people have abnormal phobias. but i refuse to accept that picle-sissy was telling the truth. i'm pretty sure she just wasn't strong enough to endure being a guest on jerry springer. i'd like to slap her.
with a vlassic dill spear.
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